The Battle Between the Heart and Mind

My heart's a thousand places at once but it's only chasing you cause it knows you're the one I love.
And don't you know it can't just stop, it goes on it's own way and makes me feel so lost.
My heart's got a mind of it's own, it doesn't love easy or like letting go.
It take a while for it It to feel at home, but when it found you my heart knew it wasn't alone.
There's a passion that I will not contain. I know I'm insane and I know I'm to blame, but you can't blame me when my heart ignores my brain.
My heart's not cliche it's one of a kind, but the person I love won't give it any time.
I ask for wisdom, a word of advice, but when people talk they talk from their mind, they don't hear their heart's or listen to mine cry.
Maybe a heart doesn't represent love, because heart's do strange things and ignore what is right.
I'm not ready to forget, but just for my heart it's time to get this burden off my chest.
I'm in love and I'm alone, I will risk it all, I've put my heart on the line.

Happy Sabbath

It is not guns that kill, people do.
It is not God that turns others away, people do.

My mom is the most spiritual person I have met. I think that part of the reason I have formed a bond with God is because of her. It took me seeing how much she loved God, and how she believed that God loves me, for me to love Him myself.

I don't understand how some call themselves Christians when they simply believe in the doctrines. They don't believe in God or love or salvation or show love to everyone, they believe that if they follow the rules, that will show they believe in God.
It is not the rules that show God you believe in Him, it is your actions.

As a child, I didn't want my friends to come to church with me. I thought it was boring and I didn't want them to meet someone so caught up in the rules that they would forever have a bitter taste in their mouths about the church. But, the church is not a place. WE are the church. God's people are the church. The church is not some place you go, it is some place you are, because the church is a place to worship God.

I don't like being titled with religion, even if I do believe in the fundamentals. I like to be titled as a "loving person" because if I show love, I show God. Sure, there are rules, and I believe that they were set in stone for good reason. Ellen White, for instance. But, you cannot take something completely out of context, latch onto one thing that is said, and expect it to have the same meaning. I believe in God. I believe in love. I don't believe that love simply evolved.

It's not the person, it's the interpretations of the people.
It's the misconceptions of interpreting religion as God.  

I want people to know God.
I want to know God.

I believe in God.
I am an Adventist because it draws me closer to the people I care about love, and God is love.

All I Wanted Was For You To Love Me, And That Made Me Forget Why I Ever Started Loving You

I'm in love with who your were. and I'm sad because I don't think I will ever find someone like that again and I don't have the capacity to change you. when in reality, maybe it is not you that changed, but me. and I like myself too much to change. The picture of us was always better in my head of the way things could be, when I was blind to the way things really were. A part of me will always hold onto the person you were, but I never want to be the person I was when I was with you again. I'm perfect. You're perfect. But together, you made me crazy. You made me question who I was and who I wanted to be and that's not how it should be. But things are never how they should be. All I wanted was you to love me, as I lost sight of the reason I ever started loving you. Everything was fine until I finally reached the perfect person I had created in my head, and you still didn't want me. I guess all along we knew. But I still hope that when you glance across the room, and smile for nothing, and I smile at you, that we both know, though we didn't ever happen in the way that I spent so much time dreaming of, our souls and hearts will know that we taught each other more than we ever would have learned without each other. expectations suck. I wish I could be with you. I wish you wanted to be with me. I wish you cared. I wish you knew. It's all so complicated. You're better off without me. 

Lucy Loves Jude

I want to tell him so much. If nothing else to give me some sort of concept of who I really am to him, to give me closure. But sometimes you have to think about other people. It's not about what I want. It's thinking about Maxwell, my family, all the logistics that seem to disappear when I think of the novel idea of me in his arms. You're right. It's not healthy for me to narrow my mind to only think of one kind of life with him. To not accept the fact that he may not be in my future. To think that there is a guy out there that at just the right time, in the right place, in the right moment, with the right intentions, loves me the way I love him. I wish I could know if he ever loved me the way I imagine myself always loving him. It hurts to think that someone, some human, some imperfect being could have such a hold on me. I know, I KNOW he's not perfect, but he is so perfect to me. It's not good for me, you're right. I do need to move on. I want to, I legitimately try. I am always led back to him in someway. I see a superhero and I think of his love for them. I hear The Beatles, and I remember of our mutual favorite band. Everytime I get a text, a call, I hope to look at my phone and see his name. I sound like a child, I know I'm sixteen. But it feels like I have already lived a lifetime that's just gone way too fast. I know it's easy to remember things differently than they happened, but maybe if the memory of him is all I will ever have, than that will be enough to know that maybe, at one second, in just the right moment, at just the right time, he felt the same way about me, as I always will him. I love him. I can't just forget.