Epiphany.

epiphany:

how are you supposed to get rid of something if you still act like it exists?


I guess if you know it's there but don't act on it. when we have expectations of how things should be, we get so caught up in the picture of what we would like to happen in our head. we paint fantasies in our imagination. and when are expectations are crushed to the real life, everything comes crashing down, because you have poured your heart, soul, mind, yourself in it's entirety to believe the expectations you have created.

and life just passes you by, it doesn't wait for expectations. or moments. it simply, is.

come to terms with what exists. for lack of other words, the good, the bad the ugly.

Have the confidence to be in control. 

Sewing

I sewed a dress today! Don't know what possessed me. It's still in the works, but here's the general idea.

I only sewed the skirt part, lined it, put a slit it, and then wrapped the top part around in bow. You can do so much with the top, there are tons of DIY tutorials and stuff. Super simple for such a formal dress. The top picture is of the one shoulder version. Thinking about doing some embroidery and such. We'll see where it goes. Very fun.

Mindy Portrait April 23, 2012

I have loved shooting portraits. This one was definitely and experiment. I bought some crayola paint and splattered the back ground as well as her face. It was hard getting the light not to show through the white paper, it would definitely be easier with cloth. A very fun shoot.

I will travel the world!

the people.

the places. 

the culture. 

the food. 

Oh the places I'll go, from the wise words of Dr. Seuss. (that book is inspiring.)

God is good.

The world is vast. 

That excites me.

WORLD, HERE I COME?

NAW.

WORLD, HERE I AM!

Painting

I love obstructing the eyes.
You can imagine what the person is like.
Not who the person is.
But what describes them.

Oh children.

Sit in the rain
tears fall from her cheek
listen to me
walk on a park bench
hear children scream
this is not how it should be
Kids can't find their way
They can't go some place they've never been
Listen to music shiver my skin
this is where it ends
count to a hundred
now to 99
now we're out of time
Kids can't find their way
They can't go some place they've never been
Oh children run
Life is so fun, run to your Mama
Oh children love
Life is so long, run to you sister now
spill a new stain
can't make it go away
just like you, you can't stray, child run.

white lies.

Julia smiled as she told her a story.
It sounded so perfect in her head.
She was just a child.
The more she thought the more she knew that anything was better with a little stretch of the truth.
The only fact she knew was how things could be, but even Julia didn't know what she wanted to see.
She wanted everything and everyone.
Their love.
 their secrets
 their:
trust,
infatuation,
thoughts,
heroes,
mistakes,
blackmail,
She wanted them in their entirety.
Julia was on a mission.
If she knew everything about everyone, she would find something that she'd want to see in herself.
Julia, the person with the most answers had the most questions.
She found their heroes, and before they knew her well enough, she became a different hero for everyone she knew.
"I'm Superman and Batman", Julia would say.
Superman and Batman. Against each other. On the same team. Not an enemy, but a nemesis.
Julia was her own nemesis.
Like her heart hated her brain, and her brain hated her heart. But they made up one person. One team, Superman and Batman saving the world, heart and her brain, saving her soul.

She read a word, and explained as a novel.
Played a note, and she was Bethoven.
Read a map, and she had traveled the world.
Picked up a crayon, and she was Picasso.

Julia didn't lie.
She simply lived the life she wanted to live.
She told the tales of her adventures daily, and pretty soon, Julia believed it herself.

Julia didn't want to die for one reason only.
She detested her life and reality.
But when she fell asleep, there she found peace.
There was one place in the world where she could find comforting, and she would never want to leave that world behind. Her world, her pride. Her belonging: her dreams.

She lived in her dreams, and each day she awoke in utter disbelief.
She tried to re-create her dreams.
If Julia told the stories as if they happened in reality, then she would begin to believe it herself.

There was only one place she longed to be, and that was back in love.
But you cannot go someplace you've never been, and that was the one thing Julia knew. Aside from her dreams and reality, and everything that got confused in between, that was the one thing Julia believed.

So she told her tales.
Her dreams.
Everyone was envious of Julia's adventurous life, except for Julia herself.
She couldn't fall back asleep. She didn't know if she was awake.
She told her dreams so much that she began to believe them. Was this the real life, or was it just another dream?

Finally, they were one in the same.
Julia's dreams had come true.

just a little white lie isn't so bad.

Wicked Game

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3Wxmz4tRDo&feature=player_embedded

Worth your time.
Cover by Josh Pryer.
Raw. Passion. I can't even stop listening to it, so you know it's gotta be good. seriously, I think I'm in love.

"The world was on fire and no one could save me but you/ it's strange what desire will make foolish people do.."